


best of dads, best of men

by shuanime



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Domestic, M/M, Parenthood, Sexual Content, Smut, but it's not too much, jeonghan-centric because he thinks a lot, just jeonghan navigating through parenthood, single dad seungcheol, teacher boo, there's, yoonhong are his boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29900829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuanime/pseuds/shuanime
Summary: Jeonghan has never seen himself raising a child, and the thought of leading one through its formative years scares the fuck out of him.But what frightens him most is how fatherhood came naturally to him the moment he met is boyfriend's daughter.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 116





	best of dads, best of men

**Author's Note:**

> bri! thank you for comeeshing me again to write for you ;-; i hope this fic provides u warmth and comfort :] ily

Lately, Seungcheol is noticing something about his daughter.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

_ “Mnn...  _ toast,” she says, rubbing her eyes. She just woke up with dried drool on her cheek and with her curly hair all over the place, but in Seungcheol’s (definitely not biased) eyes, she’s the  _ most _ beautiful he has  _ ever _ seen.

“What jelly do you want on it?” Seungcheol asks, picking her up in his arms. Mornings aren’t hard for her, something she got from Joshua, possibly, with all the camping trips they go to.

“Mmm, no jelly,” she mumbles half-asleep, face plopping on his shoulder. “Sweet butter.”

Toast in the morning. Buttered on one side, with a sprinkle of sugar. That sounds  _ exactly _ like Joshua’s favorite food to have first thing in the morning.

It’s a good thing that Seungcheol hasn’t started cooking his mediocre (at best) heavy breakfast for the day because toast is one of the easiest things to prepare, and now he has to thank his boyfriend for introducing it to his little one.

“I’ll make you the  _ best _ toast ever.”

“Only uncle Shua makes best toast.”

“What about daddy, then?”

“Daddy makes best baek-kimchi.”

Seungcheol grins. Well, at least he makes something. “And uncle Jeonghan?”

With her eyebrows meeting together in the middle, Sunhee  _ visibly _ struggles with her answer to that. “He...” she trails off until she finds the right words “...buys me cotton candy?”

That earns a hearty laugh from Seungcheol. His other boyfriend would rather starve than be seen in a kitchen.

Oh, kids and their honesty.

“Let’s wash your face first,” he says, settling her down the step stool for her to reach the sink, standing very close by in case she loses balance.

Yes, folks, you read that right. He has  _ boyfriends. _

Plural.

_ Two _ of them.

And Seungcheol already knows what you’re thinking—he’s a father of a five-year-old child. He’s inexperienced when it comes to this because he wasn’t  _ exactly _ ready when Sunhee came to his life, so not only does he have to give his child a life where his dad is gay (unabashedly so), but he also has to make her understand this...  _ odd _ concept of loving two instead of one.

Of  _ three _ people loving one other—which isn’t really as complicated as monogamists make it seem, but it’s already frowned upon in society. What can Seungcheol do against that?

Well, he can start planting inclusive values in his own child, that’s what.

Sure, there are a whole lot of things that he should be prioritizing instead, but when’s the right time to tell your child  _ love is love unless there’s a power imbalance that must be questioned? _

Getting someone pregnant at his prime age of twenty-four should be enough reason for him to stop whatever the hell it is he was doing then (which wasn’t a  _ lot _ considering he was only trying to build up his resume around that time). Maybe the mother of his child  _ dipped _ and left all the responsibilities on the wide-eyed, naive Seungcheol then, but never once in the course of his on-going fatherhood had he ever considered his role as burdensome.

It’s quite difficult actually to even think of his daughter like a bother. It doesn’t even have to be a grand gesture of perfection, a telling sign that they have created a prodigy worth raising like what most parents would expect from their children. It takes one “Daddy, my back is itchy” for Seungcheol to drop everything in his life to tend to whatever she wants. Needs.

And when he looks at her—a spitting image of himself with long lashes that fan out gracefully, full lips that are soft against his cheek every morning, black tufts of beautiful, soft curly hair...

Words can’t approximate the feeling.

She’s his  _ whole _ world.

Though, he’s kind of creating a universe with his daughter in the center—that’s what he told himself when Jeonghan and Joshua came crashing into their lives. Since then, not one, but  _ two _ equally gorgeous men live with them during the weekends. Seungcheol loves having them over, but there’s just one problem.

His daughter loves them  _ more. _

Surprisingly, it only takes one child to understand you most in the world. They haven’t been tainted by norms. They are open to love.

Seungcheol never really thought so little of himself, even if he has definitely faced all discrimination there is in the world that someone like him could come across. But being accepted and loved unconditionally by a child is a precious feeling.

It keeps him going.

That said, among the three of them (Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua)—she doesn’t have to say it out loud—she’s particularly fond of Joshua most, who sits on the living room floor, building puzzles with his little one as they hum nursery rhymes together.

“Puzzles?” Seungcheol wonders aloud, half expecting an answer from Jeonghan who just took a seat next to him on the couch, looking over what could possibly be the cutest interaction between Joshua and Sunhee. It’s not a bad thing to play with puzzles (it  _ is _ a choking hazard but three grown men are watching her intently, so it shouldn’t be a problem when they’re around), but Seungcheol expected his five-year-old to be playing with the plushies he bought enough to fill her room. Not puzzles at this age.

“I brought them over to distract Joshua when she naps and he has no one to play with, but she saw him playing and wanted in on it,” Jeonghan says over the rim of his coffee cup before taking a sip, “As expected of my kid.”

“Why is she  _ your _ kid when she’s doing good things,” Seungcheol complains, “but she’s  _ my _ kid when she’s doing dumb, kid things?”

“Oh, you two, will you please stop,” Joshua chimes in, perfectly hearing the conversation because he’s literally right there. “Sunhee, love, who’s your  _ favorite _ in this room?”

Sunhee looks up, cheeks bouncing a little as she fixes her round gaze at Jeonghan, then at his father, and then back at Joshua.

“Uncle Shua,” she mumbles as she breaks into a smile, showcasing the milk teeth that grew just about a few years ago.

With his head held high and chest puffed up, Joshua looks at them, “See?  _ I’m _ the favorite.”

Jeonghan snorts at that, settling his cup down and reaching over the center table to grab a candy from the sealed jar. The action distracts the child whose attention is now glued on the candy between his fingers. It’s not often that that jar is opened, and when it is, it means candy time for her.

“Want this, sweetheart?”

Well, when an adult asks like  _ that, _ of course the child wants it.

Sunhee nods, and Seungcheol—endeared as he is—is reminded of how he still needs to make some things clear to his daughter. It’s okay to take candies from uncle Shua and uncle Han (mostly from Shua because Han treats her like a paper shredder for sugar with how much candy he’s willing to hand her, and Shua has self-control), but strangers are to be rejected at  _ all _ times.

Upon receiving the tiny ball of sugary goodness, Sunhee beams again.

“So,” Jeonghan asks, “Who’s your favorite, bub?”

With a pudgy index finger, she points at the candy man, and...

Let’s just say Joshua’s pout is the exact reaction that Jeonghan was expecting.

“Whoever last hands her candy gets the favorite badge, I get it,” Joshua grumbles, putting away the puzzle pieces because Seungcheol has already gathered Sunhee on his lap.

“C’mere,” Jeonghan pats the space next to him, and Joshua follows right after tidying up.

“Are you two leaving tonight—” Seungcheol starts to ask, but then he remembers something, “Don’t swallow the candy, just suck, okay? Daddy will not give you any more if you don’t eat it properly.”

Nodding, Sunhee wraps her arms around his father’s neck, suckling on the candy to her heart’s content.

“Well, I have work at three in the morning,” Jeonghan sighs, fingers coming up to massage his temples. Being a doctor is nice and all with how much he makes, but orthopedic surgeons do  _ not _ have it easy. “Shua can stay if you need help with Sunhee.”

“Yeah, I got time off work.”

“You  _ own _ the bakery,” Jeonghan points out, “Of course you always got time off work.”

Joshua shrugs with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Bakery?” Sunhee looks up from where her face is buried in his father’s neck. She then looks at Seungcheol with genuine wonder in her eyes... and Seungcheol already knows the outcome of this. “Daddy, we go to Uncle Shua bakery?”

“Yeah,  _ daddy,” _ Joshua asks, leaning against Jeonghan with a snicker. He knows what this tone does to Seungcheol, and he doesn’t care about the consequences. “Can we?”

Red in the face, Seungcheol presses a kiss on his daughter’s temple to hide the way his face reacts. “Tomorrow, okay? After school, uncle Shua will pick you up and you can go to the bakery.”

That earns an excited giggle from his daughter, a bit different from her usual, straightforward energy. She must feel a little drowsy now since it’s her bedtime soon.

By the time Jeonghan is starting the engine of the car, ready to head home with Joshua, Sunhee has fallen asleep. She’s known to never throw a fit, but she does sulk when her favorite people have to leave.

Seungcheol then watches her for a bit as he reminisces. He didn’t think that they would love Sunhee and that Sunhee would love them back just as much. He didn’t think that at all.

Seungcheol was stumbling his way through fatherhood. He barely took care of himself, trying to figure out why his four-month-old baby cries randomly even with her diapers changed. He was trying not to cry himself. He didn’t know how to properly carry a newborn, how to bathe her safely, how to mix the milk formula. He didn’t know how to tell her no when her eyes implored for yes. He didn’t know how to sing her any lullaby because hiphop songs do not put her to sleep at all (he has tried this—didn’t work).

He didn’t know how to build her life the way he would with game characters from the cyber cafe.

He didn’t know how to cook, how to clean, how to find the TV channel with SpongeBob SquarePants on it.

He didn’t know—couldn’t  _ possibly _ know how to explain to a curious toddler why the sky is blue, or why the grass tickles her feet, or why dogs don’t speak.

Or why she doesn’t have a mom.

Seungcheol is still stumbling all over the place, but Jeonghan and Joshua—two people in love who could be finding a third someplace else—are always there to catch him. Every single time.

And in the process, they somehow always find a way to catch Sunhee, too.

Brushing Sunhee’s hair back, he presses his lips on her forehead as one last kiss for the day.

“Sweet dreams, love.”

* * *

“Don’t run, kids!” Teacher Boo yells from the doorway. The kids are energized even after an entire day in the daycare because they did have their regularly scheduled nap time. Seungkwan is an energized man himself, but sometimes he’s reminded of his age (twenty-seven—the era of gray hairs and back strains) whenever he’s surrounded by these tiny humans with sticky hands.

They file out of the place one by one as their fetchers (both guardians and nannies) come to pick them up. Usually, it doesn’t even take an hour before every kid is sent home safely because guardians are extra careful about letting them stay out for too long. Seungkwan can’t blame them. Recent news is enough reason for them to be vigilant.

But it’s different today. Seungkwan is just finishing tidying the place up for the class tomorrow (kids paired with mango juice is so difficult to deal with because tables and chairs become tacky and gross). The sun is setting, so the classroom is flooded with warm light in hues of yellow, orange and some red. Seungkwan thinks this particular time of the day is lonely.

As he’s hanging his apron on the hook next to the door, he spots a kid at the waiting area. He knows exactly who she is going by her fluffy, braided pigtails.

“Choi Sunhee, why are you still here?” He gently approaches the child. “Where’s your dad?”

She looks confused by the question, but nevertheless, she answers. Her daddy said it’s impolite to ignore good people when they’re talking to you, and Teacher Boo is always nice to her.

“Maybe he’s still at bakery, teacher.”

Seungkwan is always surprised by how well-spoken this child is already. She’s good with words despite her age and can even hold a banter with some of the teacher aids sometimes.

“Do you want teacher to wait with you?”

She falls silent, and Seungkwan can see the cogs in her brain turn. Just what is she thinking?

When she finally decides, she shakes her head. “You go, teacher. I’m okay.”

With that, Seungkwan understands.

“I’m really lonely, though,” he fake sighs, pulling a sad face that would make him look in need of company. He’s not really in the closet anymore, and kids are more accepting than adults, so it’s easy for him to bring up his significant other. “I have to wait for my boyfriend to come pick me up, too.”

_ Boyfriend? _ Sunhee’s face lights up when she hears that.

“Me too!” She smiles suddenly, patting the seat next to her to invite her teacher to join her in waiting. “Daddy’s boyfriend will come!”

“Oh,” Seungkwan is startled but he wouldn’t let it show in his face. “Yeah? Then can I join you?”

Sunhee nods, patting the seat again, and Seungkwan sits beside her.

Not more than ten minutes later, a man with great hair (in Seungkwan’s honest opinion) comes running to their direction. He’s out of breath and a little sweaty, but the odd thing about him is that he’s wearing a  _ lab coat. _

Seungkwan’s initial instinct is to shield Sunhee with his body because this is  _ not _ an everyday occurrence.

“I’m here!” She calls out with a smile on her face, hands waving in the air to signal the man in the lab coat, and automatically, Seungkwan relaxes.

This must be her dad. He never really saw Sunhee’s dad before because she’s always picked up on time.

“I’m here, kiddo,” the man pants, resting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. “Sorry, I got stuck in traffic.”

“You must be her dad,” Seungkwan stands to bow, and immediately, the man bows in response. “I’m Teacher Boo.”

“Oh—I’m Yoon Jeonghan. I’m not her—”

“He’s daddy’s boyfriend!”

Jeonghan’s eyes widen, turning to Sunhee to signal that she’s not allowed to  _ casually _ tell people that or she might be bullied, but going by the child’s innocent stare, the message was  _ not _ transmitted at all.

“Ah—Uh...” Jeonghan thinks of anything to retract that outburst, but Seungkwan smiles reassuringly.

“I’m like you, Yoon Jeonghan-ssi,” he says with a knowing smile, and Jeonghan is glad he’s having this interaction and not Joshua because that boyfriend of his  _ will _ lag like he’s a faulty Windows XP hardware. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

Jeonghan doubts he’ll say that if he finds out there’s three of them in a relationship.

“Thank you for staying with her,” he breathes out, finally feeling  _ relief _ because he really thought he’d have to do some... damage control.

Which may or may not include having to hit the teacher’s head with a flower pot nearby to avoid nasty rumors about Sunhee’s family from spreading and to steer clear of the possibility of Sunhee’s life being affected  _ negatively _ because of that.

Jeonghan is willing to do anything if he gets desperate enough.

With a quick nod and an awkward  _ come here _ gesture directed to Sunhee, Jeonghan bids their goodbye to the teacher who has a confused (bordering concerned) smile on his face.

As they’re walking hand in hand to where he parked the car, Sunhee looks up at him and asks, “Uncle Han, where’s Uncle Shua? Bakery?”

“No,” Jeonghan squats down to her eye-level, voice dropping to a whisper like it’s a conspiracy, “I left him in the car.”

Sunhee doesn’t know why that’s mysterious, but her active imagination takes over as she gasps in response. “Why? Did he do something wrong?”

Jeonghan shakes his head, lips pressed and eyes narrowed. “We’re going to surprise him.”

They weren’t  _ supposed _ to, but Jeonghan has to make up a last-minute adventure for her because he can’t just tell her that Joshua is running late despite promising to pick her up and he just texted Jeonghan that he’s waiting by the car.

It’s not that it’s okay to lie to her over something so small, but there was always this silent agreement between Jeonghan and Joshua not to ever make her feel like she was forgotten.

Like she’s an afterthought. Because she’s everything but.

Joshua just had some problems with a clumsy part-timer, and immediately after being informed about it, Jeonghan rushed from the one-hour away hospital to get to Sunhee. They don’t usually run late like this, and surely Sunhee will understand, but they promised to never make her feel alone, to never make her question her importance to them.

“Okay,” she beams at him, hand coming up to ruffle Jeonghan’s hair. This child really acts like an adult sometimes.

And it’s  _ adorable _ because she looks exactly like her father. They’re one and the same.

“You’re nice today, Uncle Han. You’re not teasing me.”

“I’m going easy on you,” Jeonghan chuckles as he stands up to take her hand. “We are allies today.”

“Al—” the child tries the new word in her mouth  _ “—Al-eyes? _ What’s that mean?”

“It means partners,” he explains. “I’m the hero and you’re the sidekick.”

“I want to be the princess.”

“You’ll turn into a princess if you become my sidekick first.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a hero. And I have a magic wand that will turn you into a princess if you become my sidekick.”

“I’m stealing that wand when you sleep!”

“I don’t sleep! I’m a hero that doesn’t sleep.”

“I’m a sidekick and my superpower is to steal wands!”

“Sunhee! It doesn’t work that way!”

All he gets is a child, years and years younger than him, sticking her tongue out in a  _ raspberry _ that kind of hurt his ego.

“Let’s not fight. We’re still going to team up against a scary monster!”

He gets all her attention with that energetic outburst. “Who!?”

“He’s a pretty monster,” Jeonghan says, and Sunhee gasps as he shakes his arms over his head for the flair, baring his teeth and then placing two peace signs on top of his head to signify horns, “but don't be fooled by his looks—he makes you eat carrots and broccoli!”

* * *

It hasn’t even been three minutes since they sat down to eat dinner, and Joshua is already _squinting_ at the obvious silent exchange between Jeonghan and Sunhee.

Seungcheol tries to pretend he doesn’t see it, and Joshua swears he will have a long talk with him about this, but it’s so obvious, it hurts to see them act.

“I can see you,” he says after a while of poking and prodding at his food with his chopsticks. “Yoon Jeonghan, put that carrot slice _back_ in her bowl.”

Jeonghan doesn’t even have the decency to look guilty, pulling an innocent face. “What do you mean?”

Joshua is speechless. He’s a  _ child. _ He’s dating a man-child.

Nevertheless, he turns to Sunhee with a soft expression. “Why did you give uncle Han your veggies? You have to eat them, baby.”

That makes her look conflicted, like there’s an internal battle going on in her head. Seungcheol was going to sit back and watch it unfold before him, but now Sunhee is pulling her  _ thinking _ face, and he’s afraid his daughter might actually burn out trying to think  _ that _ hard (Chois aren’t built for intensive thinking. They achieve more by going into every single thing blindfolded, head first.)

“Eating veggies will make you as big as me,” Seungcheol says with a hand on her back, a habit he developed after that one drowsy morning where he thought she was going to fall off her high chair. “You said you want to have legs like daddy’s, right?”

“Oh, come on,” Jeonghan sags in his seat, “She doesn’t like carrots. Look at her.”

Joshua gives him a pointed look, one that would make Seungcheol shut up if it were him on the receiving end, but Jeonghan is built different. Before Seungcheol even met them, they’re already in this relationship where they both love each other, but Jeonghan gets the urge to  _ stay _ dominant—if that makes sense.

“I want carrots,” Sunhee says quietly, filling the silence with her sullen voice. Her face looks disgusted, but she pokes the carrots Joshua immediately places in her bowl with her training chopsticks. “I’m going to eat.”

She declares it like she’s making an important decision that cannot be interrupted, and Seungcheol feels... proud.

“I want daddy’s legs.” She means she wants to be as tall as her father. “I want to see the big bird.” She means she wants to be able to see the eagle at the zoo better without anyone having to carry her on their shoulders. “I want to see moon.” She thinks Gru was standing on his own two legs at the end of the  _ Despicable Me _ movie, and since watching it, she wanted to grow taller and see the moon for herself.

“Carrots don’t even make people tall,” Jeonghan mumbles, but Joshua squints his eyes at him from across the table _ , _ and from then on, dinner is peaceful.

When Sunhee takes a bite of the vegetable, she and Jeonghan share a disappointed look.

“We didn’t defeat the monster, Sunhee.”

She chews properly, swallowing the food before speaking, “I’m not princess?”

Shaking his head, Jeonghan sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“What...” Seungcheol looks back and forth at the two of them “...are you two talking about?”

No one answers.

“Shua?”

But Joshua just shrugs. “Beats me.”

“Evil prevailed,” Jeonghan dramatically shoves food in his mouth. “That’s what happened.”

The accompanying defeated sound that Sunhee let out adds to the dramatic flair of it.

* * *

“That wasn’t cool, you know.”

Joshua is fluffing up the pillows—a weird thing he does before he sleeps like he’s a Disney princess fated to be woken up by singing birds and mice the next day. Jeonghan unceremoniously flops onto the bed, claiming the right side of the bed. He likes this side most for whatever reason Joshua just tolerates. They both have work schedules early tomorrow that’s why they can’t stay at Seungcheol’s. Sunhee cried a little upon saying goodbye to them, but with one  _ long _ assurance that Joshua will be coming back early tomorrow with some beignets, she was pacified.

She clearly has picked her favorite, Jeonghan thinks. Oddly enough, he’s not jealous. Jeonghan has the capacity to always be competitive, but something about Sunhee...

She deserves all the love she could get.

When his head comes into contact with the pillow Joshua just fluffed, he gives him a cheeky look, but Joshua lets it go because if he reacts, the slimy face mask he has on  _ will _ slide off.  _ Whatever. _

“The kid should get a break once in a while,” Jeonghan says, closing his eyes as he buries his face in the pillow. Mm... smells good. Like peppermint linen spray and Joshua’s sakura shampoo. “It’s not good, y’know?”

Joshua scoffs, “Since when are vegetables  _ not good?” _ He peels off the face mask, properly disposing of it before rubbing the remnants of the serum onto his skin. “Don’t be such a bad influence on her!”

“Sometimes, we gotta let loose,” Jeonghan sighs like he’s an elder who has lived through years of experience in child care. “She’ll grow to hate vegetables if we force it on her.” He brings a finger to his brow, scratching as he thinks about it further. “Though, I could’ve done that differently instead of calling you Veggie-zilla.”

With a small laugh, Joshua acknowledges that. He’s right, in a way. “You’re good at this, you know,” he says, pressing a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips as soon as he curled up next to him on the bed.

“On what?”

Joshua shrugs. “Being a father? It just feels... natural with you and your instincts.”

It’s dark in the room, but Joshua doesn’t miss the way Jeonghan reddens at that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeonghan says quietly, “I’m just—I just want the best for her.” Of course, Joshua knows that. But that doesn’t make it sound any less good coming from the man he loves.

They never talked about it, and maybe it’s irresponsible of them to not have talked about it. Nevertheless, it’s not a problem with Seungcheol. In fact, he likes knowing the men he’s dating care as much as him when it comes to his daughter. It makes him feel safe.

It makes him feel like he’s not alone in this anymore. Two people care. Two people support him.

Two people, two amazing people, are there to fill the gaps in her life that Seungcheol knows he can’t ever make up for alone.

But Joshua has always been an only child, doted on by his mom and dad and aunts and uncles. He has always been in love with the concept of a family because he grew up in a good, supportive one. And despite the obvious reasons why it would be frowned upon if he, someone very gay and very much in a polyamorous relationship, started building one, he can’t help dreaming about it.

Seeing Seungcheol and Sunhee gives him courage.

He wants that, too.

“She’s my daughter, too,” Joshua says out of nowhere. They’re lying on their backs, facing the ceiling. There’s nothing particularly interesting on it in the dark, but it feels vast—it feels as though the stars in the skies can see them.

Joshua extends his hand out in the air, making gentle flexing motions with his fingers from above them. It’s something to fill the silence. All they can both see is the outline of Joshua’s hand.

“And mine,” Jeonghan speaks after a while, reaching his hand out to intertwine with his, and they both let them fall onto the bed.

“Do you think we could also be like them?” Joshua asks, mustering all that courage he has been thinking about. “Cheol and Sunhee?”

Jeonghan laughs it off, unsurprisingly.

“We’re already like them, Shua, we’re dating Cheol. His kid is our kid.”

“No—” Joshua lets out a breath he’s been holding for a while, but it doesn’t make his heart pound less “—like... the two of us? With a  _ Sunhee _ of our own?”

“...you’d have to  _ poop _ a tiny human, if that happens,” Jeonghan says slowly after a moment of deafening silence, hand coming up to flick Joshua’s forehead. “You can’t get pregnant. You’re tired, Joshuji, if you’re talking about wild things.”

Joshua opens his mouth, about to say something to explain what he meant—adoption, reasonably. But something  _ clicks _ in his head and he understands.

He understands that Jeonghan understood perfectly what he meant when he said  _ with a Sunhee of our own. _

Jeonghan understands, and he makes a pregnancy joke about it, anyway.

When they fall into a comfortable position, Jeonghan scooping him up in a cuddle with Joshua’s back flush against his boyfriend’s chest, Joshua barely sleeps thinking about it.

Maybe he’s still not ready for the idea of bringing up a child with him, and he understands, really. Maybe it’s too early for that.

He’ll bring it up some other time when Jeonghan seems to be in the right headspace for it.

* * *

As a parent who cares deeply for a child, Joshua  _ dreads _ moments like this.

He wills himself not to  _ laugh, _ shoulders quivering with the sheer effort he’s exerting while Jeonghan is trying (and failing) to look like he’s not noticing the...  _ thing. _ Seungcheol just sits there, downing the protein shake Joshua whipped up for him for the day. He’s waiting for it, Joshua knows. They both know that Jeonghan will not be able to use his colorful vocabulary to point out what they’re all trying to ignore: the  _ hideous _ glasses her father got her.

“She wanted that one, okay?” If Seungcheol starts becoming defensive, then that must mean he has caught on the silent blame directed at him. “Jeonghan,  _ stop _ messing with her glasses,” Seungcheol sighs. “They’re covered by insurance.”

Sunhee, apparently, has acquired her biological mother’s bad eyesight. Worse, it manifested earlier than most kids with the same condition. Jeonghan can relate, of course, with his own eyes being fucked up by reading in the dark in med school, but unlike Seungcheol, he has...

_ Style. _ If it were up to him, he wouldn’t let Sunhee walk around with that neon blue goggle-looking thing strapped  _ around _ her head. Granted, she’s five, and five-year-olds think smurfs are beautiful and trolls are attractive enough to be childhood crushes. But in a few years time, when she’s exposed to the horrors of the  _ internet _ coupled with the horrors of her own father posting her child pictures on  _ Facebook... _

“Are my glasses bad?” Sunhee turns to look at Seungcheol.  _ Oh. _ So she can feel them trying their hardest not to laugh. “Daddy, are they bad?”

Since it’s a kid,  _ bad _ could mean different kinds of things. But Seungcheol took this  _ bad _ as  _ weird. _

“No, sweetheart.” It’s Joshua who answers. “You look beautiful.”

“Then why is uncle Han laughing when he looks at me?”

Joshua closes his eyes to gather patience from the gods above.

Then, he proceeds to  _ kick _ Jeonghan’s shin from under the table.

_ “Ow!?” _

“Look!” Joshua’s face is decorated with a wide smile, “He’s not laughing.”

“I’m not laughing,” Jeonghan repeats, trying to hide the wince on his face. “I just think they look...” he wants to tell the truth, of course, but Joshua is sending a death glare his way “...beautiful on you. Blue is a pretty color.”

The sincerity in Jeonghan’s voice makes up for it. God forbids he makes it an insecurity for her.

“It’s my favorite,” she says, chewing on her toast. “Best color in the world.”

“Don’t talk when your mouth is full,” Seungcheol reaches across the table to wipe the smear of butter and sugar on her face. “Say it back to me, please?” Seungcheol finds that when he does this, it’s easier for her to remember.

“No talk when mouth full, daddy.”

A loving smile makes it onto Seungcheol’s face and Sunhee preens at the visible validation. “You’re so smart, I wonder who you take after.”

“Uncle Han said I’m smart because he’s smart.”

“Uncle Han is a slob,” Seungcheol deadpans.

“Hey!” Jeonghan defends himself. “I’m only a slob at home. Don’t you know how tiring it is to keep up appearances at work? I deserve to wear comfortable rags and never shower—”

“Say, Sunhee,” Joshua cuts him off because this monologue couldn’t be good influence on her. “If you are good at school today, I’ll get you some blueberry ice cream?” Sunhee has mentioned that she likes blueberries despite never having one before in her life. Joshua’s convinced she just likes them for the fact that they’re  _ blue, _ and he’s about to weaponize this information. “What do you say?”

And just like that, her attention is diverted. “Okay!”

Thank heavens for a child’s attention span.

* * *

“You’re staying over?” Seungcheol asks, suppressing a moan bubbling up his throat. It’s funny that he’s asking that now, when Joshua is already mouthing at his cock through the fabric of his underwear.

Like the simple man that he is, Jeonghan laughs, brushing Joshua’s hair away from his eyes.

“Well, we can’t do this with you if we go home, can we?”

If Seungcheol had any response stored for that, they will never know because Joshua’s mouth is currently stuffed full with the head, and Seungcheol is  _ reeling. _

It has been a while, don’t judge him.

He can’t even remember the last time all three of them had time like this. It’s mostly Jeonghan who’s too exhausted to even keep his eyes open with his irregular work hours. Seungcheol would always find himself with Joshua, Joshua would find himself with either of them, Seungcheol would find himself blowing Jeonghan quickly in the laundry room, Jeonghan would find himself _passed_ _out_ in the laundry room—

He doesn’t know how to explain it, but there’s a kid around and the  _ last _ thing he wants to do is to scar her forever.

“...she ‘sleep?” Joshua mumbles as best he can with his wet lips wrapped around Seungcheol, gliding up and down in an attempt to coat the entire thing with spit.

_ “Y-Yeah.” _ Seungcheol has his eyes shut tight, and from someone who has received a blowjob from Joshua, Jeonghan’s pretty certain Seungcheol is far in heaven right now to even muster a coherent answer to that.

Jeonghan laughs again, this time grabbing a fistful of Joshua’s hair and tugging him off the cock he’s sucking, just the way he knows Joshua would like it.

“Don’t talk when your mouth is full,” Jeonghan repeats the familiar words in his ear. “Don’t you learn anything from daddy?”

Rolling his eyes despite the heat rolling in his stomach as the words reach him, Joshua pushes himself off, taking off the remaining clothes on him in the process. Seungcheol is naked from the waist down, and Joshua’s bare all over, but Jeonghan is still fully clothed, refusing to lose the game.

Whatever the game is, he wishes Jeonghan would hurry up and win because he can’t fuck Joshua with his clothes on, can he?

(Yes, he can. But not tonight.)

Who ever said only two can be together? Joshua would love to debunk that thought by smacking everyone in the face with the bliss that he’s experiencing right now. He loses his head in their scents, head filled with nothing but thoughts of Seungcheol and Jeonghan and heart about to burst with all these  _ feelings, _ with all that he is—all for them both.

It’s when Seungcheol is thrusting inside him while Jeonghan plugs his mouth with his throbbing cock, his body feeling like a wire being pulled taut from both ends...

It’s when Jeonghan is clenching his jaw in an attempt to silence his grunts as he thrusts with intent, mindful enough of Joshua’s breathing but chasing his own pleasure because he knows Seungcheol is getting off at the sight and Joshua will not have it any other way...

It’s when Joshua is reveling in the tight feeling of being filled, the knot in his gut finally getting the unraveling that it deserves, the muscles around his limbs starting to feel sore from keeping him up so he can be good for them...

It was then that a series of  _ knocks _ on the door dispels the spirit surrounding them three.

They all stop moving, still somehow attached to each other, but definitely less aroused now that they slowly realize there could only be  _ one _ person behind that door.

There was a second of them wishing they just misheard it. That that was just the  _ wind _ or something.

But a muffled voice laced with sleep thrums through the door. “Daddy?” Three knocks. “Daddy? Daddy, wake up, please...”

“Shit,” Jeonghan hisses quietly, and Seungcheol finds himself pulling out haphazardly (which stung a  _ little, _ but Joshua could take some pain), scrambling to find his clothes so he can face his daughter. She might have wet the bed again if she’s up at—

His eyes drift to the clock on the bedside table. It’s still a few hours before five in the morning. Fuck.

“You can finish without me,” Seungcheol rushes to kiss Joshua’s forehead in apology, “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be,” Jeonghan nods at him as he gathers a still-disoriented Joshua in his arms. “Go to her. Come back if you can, though.”

“I will. Love you!” is the last thing they hear from him before the door slams shut, and hushed speaking voices are heard from outside.

“What,” Joshua rubs his eyes, exhaustion suddenly kicking in, “what just happened?”

“Well,” Jeonghan says, pulling him up into his embrace. That was  _ so _ sudden, and Joshua might be feeling a bit overwhelmed. “Seungcheol has real daddy duties to attend to, but you still got me.”

Joshua lets out a snort, tiredly pressing his cheek against Jeonghan’s bare chest.  _ “You  _ still got me,” he says with a snicker, “I do all the work.”

Jeonghan moves on top of him with all intent to finish what they started. He presses a lingering kiss on Joshua’s forehead, gentle touches enveloping exposed skin. Like there’s no rush at all.

“Not tonight, you won’t.”

* * *

This time, Jeonghan is the one assigned to the task of picking her up from daycare. Of course he is because Seungcheol needs to get some sleep and Joshua is  _ sore _ from last night. Naturally, Jeonghan’s at fault for one of those, so he takes on this responsibility.

(If picking her up means he can take her shopping for whatever she wants without Seungcheol and Joshua nagging them about living a frugal, humble life, he’ll leave work in a heartbeat. He wants her to have everything, and his pockets aren’t that shallow if you consider the tiny detail that he patches up cracked bones of famous athletes.)

He doesn’t  _ exactly _ have the day off, but then who would pick Sunhee up? Not Seungcheol who can barely keep his eyes open. Not Joshua whose butt is... well, the point is Jeonghan would rather slam his head on concrete than entrust her to someone else.

A bit too vivid of a description of what he  _ would _ do in a hypothetical scenario, but he’s making a point.

“Yoon Jeonghan-ssi?” Teacher Boo greets him by the doorway of the daycare classroom. The windows are decorated with cutouts of butterflies and flowers, and if he peers inside, he’ll see crayon scribbles on paper that are put up on the wall—something about art, they said. Jeonghan isn’t artsy by himself, but he lets his eyes wander anyway to judge the kids’ works.

As  _ expected, _ Sunhee’s is the best crayon scribble. He’s not sure what that drawing is supposed to be. It could be anything between a car and a volcano eruption, but he’s pretty sure it’s a living being. Sunhee is  _ so _ talented.

“Hi,” he says, brushing his brown hair off his face, letting it fall back into a graceful parting on his forehead—an action that he  _ knows _ is attractive. Something Joshua gushed about before and Seungcheol raised an eyebrow at when he caught Jeonghan flirting with a street vendor for a discount. It’s his move to intimidate whoever’s speaking to him with his looks. “Is Sunhee ready to go?”

The teacher smiles at him warmly, not at all scared at that display of his. “There’s still an hour before dismissal time. But she’s at the playground right now with the other kids and the teacher aid.”

Jeonghan nods. “Okay, I’ll be waiting in the car—”

“You can come,” Teacher Boo suggests. “I bet you also want to see what it’s like to be in daycare.”

His tone is so...  _ lovely. _ It reminds Jeonghan of how Joshua would sweetly address Sunhee. Of how Seungcheol would tell her bedtime stories.

It’s so lovely. Sunhee is surrounded by all these perfect people meant to take care of her.

Something about that makes Jeonghan feel at ease.

“Sure.”

* * *

He’s wearing a silly little pink apron like the teacher aid and Teacher Boo when he steps into the playground. The sun isn’t high up, so he’s not worrying about Sunhee burning under the heat, and the kids are loud with laughter, playing tag and hopscotch—and some other games that Jeonghan can’t name.

He spots her at the swing, a girl pushing her back lightly whenever she swings back, and it’s refreshing to see her smile like that.

Times like this reminds him of Seungcheol and how she definitely got that from him. Everything—from her black curls (Seungcheol’s is a whopping gray right now with black roots, but he had the darkest, softest hair Jeonghan has ever seen) to her big eyes to her confidence and humility—

Jeonghan could go on and on and on.

“I have one, too,” Teacher Boo says out of the blue. They’re standing under the shade of the daycare roof next to the windows. “At home.”

It takes a second for Jeonghan to understand what he’s trying to say.

“You’re a...?”

“Yeah,” Teacher Boo smiles again and it’s still lovely. He must be a really good teacher. “He’s nine. My boyfriend and I adopted him when he was seven.”

Well, he didn’t expect that.

Teacher Boo looks younger than him (Jeonghan’s just about to turn thirty—he isn’t that old), so he didn’t expect someone like him to have a child at this age... much less want one at this age.

That, and he now gets why Teacher Boo wasn’t that shocked when Sunhee introduced him as her dad’s boyfriend.

“Obviously, we’re young, but it was my idea, y’know?” Teacher Boo continues when Jeonghan doesn’t speak. He doesn’t sound unsure at all, and here Jeonghan thought he’s making him uncomfortable with his silence. “We were just visiting the orphanage at least once a month, and I got attached to my baby.”

That’s different from what Jeonghan’s used to, but he can’t judge.

Not when Teacher Boo’s eyes sparkle as he talks about his kid.

“Is it...” The question is out of his mouth before he could even think about it “...is it hard?”

“Everything’s hard, if you think about it.” Jeonghan’s eyes don’t leave Sunhee who’s still having fun on the swing with the girl friend she’s with. And as he watches her, he feels Teacher Boo’s words pierce through his senses. “But when you look at them... well, they make it worth it.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a great dad,” Teacher Boo pats his shoulder, and Jeonghan stiffens up. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

He feels bad—not because he was thought to be a  _ dad, _ but because it feels good to be called Sunhee’s father.

And that elated, out of this world feeling doesn’t leave him when they’re driving back home.

It didn’t last for long, though.

“Hannie,” Joshua holds his shaking hand, trying to get him to calm down. His eyes are blank and unfocused, “Love, look at us.”

“I’m sorry—”

It hurts Seungcheol to watch Jeonghan become like this.

“—it was an accident—I wanted to curse at that-that  _ fucker, _ but I couldn’t—”

Seungcheol cuts him off because he knows it wasn’t  _ his _ fault. Jeonghan is a good driver. He’s a doctor, a surgeon who deals with massive trauma involving people who have been wrecked by car collisions. What happened was an accident that thankfully did not cause any harm to either of them. It was a minor collision that barely scratched the car (thanks to Jeonghan’s driving reflexes), but the driver of the other vehicle (who was speeding while they’re presumably  _ drunk)  _ had gotten away. The security camera along the area must’ve caught the accident, and Seungcheol is sure enough they’ll find the one responsible for this.

“Hannie, it’s fine. You’re both okay—"

“—It’s  _ not _ fine,” Jeonghan seethes, and it would be off-putting if not for the fact that he’s angry at  _ himself _ , “She could’ve gotten hurt!”

“You both could’ve been badly hurt,” Joshua does his best to soothe him. “Whoever was behind the wheel must’ve been drunk. We’ll file a report tomorrow.”

“No, no,” Jeonghan gets up, shaking his head frantically as he searches for his keys. “I’ll go home. I can’t—I can’t do this.”

“Jeonghan, you can’t be by yourself right now,” Joshua pleads, “You’re not okay—"

_ “I can’t do this, Joshua,”  _ Jeonghan says with much conviction, the words pressing against Joshua’s heart. “I can’t be a father like you want me to be. I just fucking  _ can’t,  _ so leave me the fuck alone.”

His eyes are trained at Joshua whose expression is quivering—a tell-tale sign that he’s about to spill tears but is willing himself to not cry in front of anyone.

But Seungcheol takes most of the blow.

He knows Jeonghan. He knows him inside and out. He knows the lengths Jeonghan will go through to keep her safe and happy and assured.

So why...

Why does this feel like the man he loves is rejecting his daughter?

If this were any other person, Seungcheol would’ve let him go that easily. Seungcheol would’ve taken it personally. Would’ve not forgiven him for saying that.

Seungcheol would’ve been heartbroken.

But this is  _ Jeonghan. _

Jeonghan, who dresses up as Mike Wazowski for Halloween to match Sunhee’s Boo costume despite having a reputation to uphold. Not only that, he also brings her trick or treating at the hospital with the kids at the pediatric ward. And when the nurses ask if she’s his, he smiles and nods and leads her away before they could poke on a sensitive topic that would remind her of her mother.

Jeonghan, who used to not have an inclination to religion, but now silently mutters a prayer whenever Sunhee has a school performance. A little mantra—something about it going well always. Something about Sunhee feeling good about herself. Something about not tripping on her toes. Something about her not developing a stage fright.

Jeonghan, who  _ entirely _ stopped his smoking (a habit he picked up in his college years) the day Seungcheol introduced him and Joshua to his daughter.

“Are you calm?” Joshua asks, peering inside the room but not fully entering. He was able to get Jeonghan out of the hysterics when he burst into tears. He didn’t mean to, but the obvious hurt in Seungcheol’s face opened the floodgates. “We’re coming in, is that okay?”

Jeonghan is facing away, lying on his side in silence. He hasn’t even changed out of his work clothes from when he picked up Sunhee.

When he doesn’t answer, Seungcheol and Joshua take that as a sign. Sometimes there’s no need for words when you know someone so well.

The silence is enough for Seungcheol and Joshua to assume that he’s reflecting on his words and that the guilt from saying them has gotten to him by now.

“I know you didn’t mean any of that,” Seungcheol heaves a sigh as soon as he sits on the bed, running a hand through his hair. “You were shaken up, Hannie.”

Reassurance matters more than forgiveness. Besides, Seungcheol doesn’t have anything to forgive if he knows there wasn’t truth to Jeonghan’s words... even if they hurt, undeniably.

“I’m sorry,” Joshua summons the courage to apologize, sniffling a little as his voice cracks. He’s aware of how his sudden request must’ve been weighing Jeonghan down for a while now. “I didn’t mean to pressure you, I was just—I saw you and Sunhee getting along so well, I thought it would be the right time to ask—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jeonghan speaks up, his voice audibly tired. He gets up, head hung low as he rests his back on the bed frame. “We would’ve talked about it sooner or later. And it’s not like I hated thinking about it. I just wasn’t...”

“...ready,” Seungcheol finishes the sentence for him.

Without lifting his head, Jeonghan nods.

“Did you mean it?” No, he didn’t. But Seungcheol asks anyway. “That you don’t want to be a father?”

Because this is Seungcheol’s number one deal-breaker. It’s Sunhee over anything else. If Jeonghan gives his daughter up, if Jeonghan can’t bear the responsibility...

Good things come to an end, Seungcheol reminds himself. If they break up now, it would be good for Sunhee in the long run.

Whether or not it will be devastating for him is another matter.

“I want to,” Jeonghan runs a hand on his face, trying to communicate his feelings properly, “Believe me, I do. She’s... perfect. I’ve never felt this way towards anything or anyone in my life.”

So where is his reluctance coming from?

“I didn’t have—” a pause. And Jeonghan decides he should continue because leaving this in the dark won’t help him in any way. “I didn’t have a good father.”

Joshua knows the story. Seungcheol, not so much.

“He wasn’t good with... emotions,” Jeonghan explains, “and I respected him for that. He was a workaholic who didn’t really hurt me, but wasn’t really there at all, so...”

“You’re scared,” Joshua says.

“Yes,” he lifts his head this time, looking directly at Seungcheol. “I’m scared of fucking up. I’m scared of being the reason for anything that would leave her in any kind of pain in the future. I have no one to look up to for this, and I don’t know if—I don’t know what to do.”

Seungcheol holds his gaze, and Joshua’s hand reaches for Jeonghan’s.

“Then don’t leave,” Seungcheol says it so simply that Jeonghan’s eyes widen. Joshua squeezes his hand in support. “Don’t make her go through that a second time.”

Jeonghan doesn’t know what to say. Mostly because he doesn’t want to be that person who leaves her again. The person who’ll rub salt to the wound that her mother left her.

But also because sometimes it’s really just  _ that _ simple.

Stay. Be there. Be whatever she needs when she needs you.

The minor traffic accident earlier seemed far too infuriating now that it is scary. Jeonghan suddenly gets the urge to wake up early tomorrow just to go to the nearest station and report it as soon as he can. 

It doesn’t feel  _ scary _ anymore—he feels wronged. He feels protective.

And he feels like he can keep going.

He can’t protect her if he leaves her now, can he?

“Daddy?” The door opens just a crack, and a ray of light from the hallway filters into the dark room. “Are you okay?”

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Joshua is the one to open his arms wide for her to run towards him. She warily looks at Jeonghan who offers her a small smile in hopes of it providing reassurance that everything will be fine, but kids are surprisingly intuitive. She can feel it.

Once she gets to Joshua who hoists her on his lap, she reaches out and—

And squeezes Jeonghan’s face in her tiny palms.

Her expression tells them that she’s inspecting his face.

“Are you sad?”

Jeonghan manages to laugh a little, shaking his head in her hands. “I’m not sad.”

But she doesn’t look convinced. She must have heard or seen them earlier.

“Really?”

Jeonghan nods. Sunhee then releases his face to grab his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” He asks, but he’s already getting up, going to wherever she’s dragging him to without much effort. Jeonghan thought he’s too out of it, too exhausted to be on his feet...

But she might have some superpowers if she can get him moving.

“Snow White,” she mumbles, distracted by the feat of getting them both into her room.

Sunhee’s room is—what Jeonghan thinks is—if the blue Carebear vomited all over. Everything is  _ blue _ coupled with her fixation to a cartoon character named Lapis Lazuli who is also  _ very _ blue. The walls are decorated with fish and seaweed stickers that Seungcheol made her put up. And there are marker scribbles on the walls—something that irks Joshua’s tidy self but he lets it go because walls can always be repainted, and Sunhee needs an outlet for her early artistic urges.

She hands him a picture book—Snow White and the Seven Dwarves—before climbing into her bed and snuggling the Snoopy plushie her dad won for her in the arcade.

Seungcheol and Joshua followed behind, so they’re just by the doorway as Jeonghan tells her the story. Somehow, all anxiousness, all worries leave him as they share a laugh. He does many voices, and she particularly loves how he acts out Dopey. And for some reason, she’s more scared of Grumpy than the evil stepmother.

Her laughter dissolves all the worries away.

_ They make it worth it. _

Indeed, they do.

The story finishes with an applause from Seungcheol and Joshua. Sunhee looks up at him.

“Are you still sad?”

Jeonghan shakes his head as he answers the question again. “How can I be sad when I’m in the presence of a princess?”

Sunhee pouts at that. “You said I look like bread.”

“That’s because you have a  _ baby _ face.”

“I’m a big girl!”

“Alright,” Jeonghan concedes defeat with a dramatic sigh. “Alright, I’m sorry.”

“Okay. I forgive you,” Sunhee says earnestly. “I’m sorry, too.”

“What for?”

“For saying you’re bald.”

Silence.

“You never said that, though.”

“Oh,” she makes a noise like she just remembered. “Then I’m sorry for thinking it.”

A small, incredulous laugh escapes Jeonghan’s lips, and he can hear Joshua’s giggle and Seungcheol’s smile without having to look back.  _ That _ really is a concerning thought. Joshua’s innocently petty side is rubbing off on her.

“You’re forgiven,” he replies, anyway, “C’mon let’s go to sleep.”

“Are you sleeping here with me?”

“If you want me to.”

“All of you?”

She looks expectantly at Joshua and her father who both nod warmly. “Yeah,” Joshua says.

They all make their way to her bed, Joshua fluffing up pillows as they assume a nice position together. The bed is big enough if they all snuggle. Sunhee is in the middle of Seungcheol and Joshua, while Jeonghan is next to Joshua, hugging him from behind. He hooks his chin on Joshua’s shoulder to say good night.

“Good night, love” Seungcheol says.

“Good night, princess,” Jeonghan says.

“Good night, sweetheart,” Joshua says.

As they tuck her in, Seungcheol pulling up the blanket to her chin, they each press a kiss on her forehead.

And nobody missed the mumble under her breath before she fell into a deep slumber.

“Good night… dads.”

As Sunhee falls asleep, Joshua stays silent despite the suppressed sniffles that he lets out from time to time, and Seungcheol hums a tune that makes the blooming warmth in Jeonghan’s chest  _ grow. _

Jeonghan wakes up in the morning greeted by the sight of Sunhee lying on her side, hugging Seungcheol with her short arms over his waist and her head pillowed on her father’s arm. He wakes up greeted by the sight of Joshua sleeping  _ exactly _ like that with his head using Jeonghan’s arm as a pillow.

And he thinks back to all the times he let himself be flurried with uncertainties.

When this, right here, is what makes him fulfilled.

**Author's Note:**

> my svt fic comeesh is open again but there are limited slots! head onto my [twitter](https://twitter.com/shuanime) account for more details if ur interested (it's my pinned tweet ..so easy to find hehe)
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